I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! But existing is basically all…
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Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Okay, I like a challenge. Shut up and take my…
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No, she’ll probably make me do it. You mean while I’m sleeping in it? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso!…
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It must be wonderful. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged….
Continue reading ...All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! I don’t know what you’re talking about….
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For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. We’re rescuing ya. You’re going to do his laundry? I had more, but you go ahead. I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to…
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You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me. Fatal. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the…
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Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! File not found. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep!…
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Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. I saw you with…
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Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! I didn’t ask…
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